You can condition your mind to make positive and healthy decisions,
To be deeply grateful again and again…
Suddenly, happiness is a conditioned state of being.Happiness began as hope.
Then, an intention.
Then, a practice.
Then, it’s just who you are.~Brendon Buchard~
I started this publication so that my friends and I could spread the light we wanted to see in the world. Writing has a way of cementing things: in realization and in gratitude. As we evolve, it appears to be taking the shape of a time capsule—our collective experience, aspirations, and manifestations.
Today, I’m deviating from our outlined topics to process the recent passing of a relative. The stages of grief are commonly known and all too familiar, yet they hit unexpectedly every time. I’m not sure if I go through them sequenced, orderly, and clearly defined. Still navigating the trauma from my youth, I’m rather convinced I start with acceptance and move in reverse order.
I try so hard to detach and be the voice of reason and stability for those clearly wounded, convincing myself that mortality isn’t something I fear - that no inner demons whisper damning thoughts to drag me into the shameful depths of remorse.
In silence, no one hears me. In darkness, no one sees me. To bare one’s soul is the cry your heart must make before anyone can answer. Stumbling through, I eventually find comfort in arms that embrace me.
Life is too short to be less than the best version of yourself. In the end, the question will be: “How have you loved?”
Disclaimer: This article is intended to provide motivational and inspirational content. However, if you are experiencing thoughts of depression, suicide, or other mental health concerns, please seek help from a qualified medical or mental health professional.
In the United States, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
For international emergency mental health support, please visit helpguide.org, which lists global helplines and crisis centers.
Remember, support is available, and there is help for those who need it.
Lying awake, restless, stirring… my mind wanders aimlessly.
I try to put pen to paper and make some sense of myself as tears threaten to splash the pages. The disturbance is all too familiar. It’s the one thing that always eats at me the most.
I don’t know how it manages to catch me off guard. It’s no stranger to me.
It greets me like an old friend has before: Who you are is not good enough. You can do better. Be better. No one can love you as you are.
Shame!
Although I can feel myself rejecting it this time.
This time, it’s different. I’m tired of apologizing for who I am, nor do I feel like I need to.
I don’t deserve to be cut down. I’ve survived the sores, the bruises, beatings, insults…
I asked for nothing in return except to be left as I am.
To be accepted and loved, or not, just as I am.
Take me or leave me, but don’t try to change me.
And if you stay, then commit. I don’t get the one foot in and one foot out.
I own that I need to set boundaries and manage my expectations.
I need to take inventory of my life.
My world is already so small, and I’ve had to be so selective to stay safe.
They say, “Build a longer table, not a higher fence.”
But I have to make sure there’s a place for me in my own life.
Because there’s nothing I’m not worthy of…and that is brave.
Are you living the life you always wanted, or is fear holding you back?
Do you feel isolated, unloved, or unworthy? OR, did someone never want you to have anything of value? Perhaps they didn’t want you to feel safe and have something reliable and stable to ensure you would never feel like you had any roots or ownership of anything?
Are you so accustomed to the dark of which you claim to be so afraid that it’s truly the LIGHT you fear will show you what you’ve been living without?
No one can erase time, but it can be a gift. It starts now, if you let it. You have the rest of your life to overwrite a past without and exist with love, belonging, safety, and so much more. You’ve got everything to gain; the only life you leave behind is one of regret.
Even in darkness, the light within does not vanish; it glows, warm and steady, with a willingness to endure.
Thank you for sharing your time with us. We are truly grateful to have you as part of our community!