Grace Under Pressure, Ltr. No. 2

Dear Grace,   

I'm caught in a delicate situation. My friend's party invitation included a request for "displayed contributions for our celebration." Should I assume this is a monetary gift or a display of unwrapped gifts? I was taken aback when I realized we were being asked to present gifts that would stand out. I feel pressured, but I don't want to dampen the mood. I'm wondering if I will even attend. Am I being old-fashioned, or is a display of unwrapped gifts and asking for cash an etiquette faux pas? Should I clarify with the host, or go with the flow?

Sincerely, Under Pressure

There’s a tug-of-war playing out behind the scenes of today’s bridal and baby showers. On one side, the familiar charm of detail and tradition; on the other, the convenience and efficiency of the present. The “display shower”—a relatively new take on the time-honored celebration—has created a cultural shift, receiving both applause and apprehension.

Photography by RDNE Stock Project

Unwrapping the Display Shower Controversy

The concept is simple: guests bring their gifts unwrapped, often with a modest bow or tag, and these offerings are arranged on tables or shelves like a curated exhibit. No paper to tear, no ribbons to unravel, no drawn-out gift-opening sequence. It’s an aesthetic update to an old ritual. Yet for many, this modern ease doesn’t arrive without inviting uncertainty.

A quick skim of an invitation requesting a “display gift” can evoke a litany of questions. Is wrapping still welcome? Should you opt for a cash envelope instead? Is this a celebration or a showcase? The line between generosity and performance begins to blur, and with it, the ease of knowing exactly what’s expected.

Traditionally, showers were more than practical, they were personal. There was a rhythm to watching someone unwrap a set of monogrammed linens or carefully chosen first-time parent necessities, with each gesture offering a glimpse into the giver’s thoughtfulness. Those unhurried moments turned the ordinary into something more meaningful.

Display showers, in contrast, skip the spectacle. Many hosts appreciate the flow they create; there's more time to mingle, more space for activities, and fewer piles of discarded paper. They reduce waste and ease anxiety about opening gifts in a roomful of eyes. The unwrapped table can feel like a monument to consumerism. At first glance, it may appear artificial, stylized, and yes, a little ostentatious.

Neither version is superior. Both reflect a desire to celebrate and honor life’s milestones with care. Yet for guests, particularly those steeped in the rituals of past generations, the shift can feel disorienting. You want to honor your friend, but you also want to feel sincere in how you show up.